Success and rest approach

How we use Success and Rest at PlayGroup:

At PlayGroup, we focus on what kids are doing well. Neurodiverse kids in general are “corrected” by adults in extreme amounts compared to their neurotypical peers. All this negative feedback (even when delivered in a kind, well-meaning tone) can accumulate into a deep sense of failure and overwhelm. These kids need heaps of praise to balance out the erosion of their resiliency from this frequent criticism. They also need rest—lots and lots of rest. At PlayGroup, we build connections through supportive praise and increased awareness of boundaries. You can try this at home too:

• Try to praise your kid for three things for every reminder you have to give them. Focus your praise on things that your kid finds important. “Thank you for teaching me about that YouTube channel; I learned a lot from you today!” is going to go farther than “You did a great job tying your shoes this morning.”

• Try to ease the path in front of them. Knowing that this time of year is extremely taxing for neurodiverse kids, what can you make easier for them? On the days when there is a new activity to get to for the first time, can you help them put their shoes on even though they may usually do it themselves?

• Remind them what they’ve already learned. Are there skills that used to be hard for them that are easy for them now? Think about things your child was working on a year or more ago, or when they were a baby. Tell them a story about their own achievement.

• Let them rest. This is probably the most important thing you can do for your child during this busy transition time. Give them time to rest and do things that refuel them. Remind yourself that just getting through the day with new routines is a huge effort, and your child needs a lot of time and support to re-regulate. Let them watch that video or jump on the bed or hide in the tent—whatever it is that they love to do.